Posts Tagged ‘Faith’

Are you Squidward or Spongebob? 100 Things to be grateful for

Wednesday, June 24th, 2009

My kids were arguing with each other about some ridiculous nitpicky thing at breakfast today and it was getting out of hand. I sort of blew my fuse and put my foot down. I told them they had to write down 100 things to be grateful for and 100 things they were not happy about.  Halfway into it, my son told me that one whole sheet of paper was not enough to fit all that. He had written the things he was grateful for on one side and on the other, the ones he was not.

I thought it was a perfect teachable moment for him to choose how to view life. We all have our daily struggles in life, the weight of which depends relatively on how we see them. This is not to say that our struggles are negligible and the pain is not valid. I would surmise to think that it depends on how you see the big picture.

At this point, I told my son that this was what I wanted him to know. I told him that he could view life either half-empty and look at all the bad things, or he could also look at life half-full, where life is full of possibilities and hope. Even before I could finish my point he said it was just like being Squidward. I said yes. By this time he had already written down so many things to be grateful for and the argument at breakfast was a thing of the past. He had gone off to play with his sister again. Intermittently, they come back hugging me, giving me little “I love you, mom” notes and scribbles seemingly content with their little lives.

How about you, which Bikini Bottom character are you? Sponge Bob, Squidward or Patrick?

It's Ballet Recital Week!!!!!

Sunday, May 24th, 2009

Just popping in to say that we are about to have one hectic week ahead. Kids recovering from sudden cough and colds due to the erratic weather, a death in the family, visiting grandparents from Davao, visiting family relatives from Cebu, a just concluded summer dance workshop in Sta. Rosa, an unfinished article, layouts to finish, a costume to paint, a surprise party for a dear, dear person, technical dress rehearsals and a photoshoot, of course the first two-day Noah’s Ark ballet recital of my kids at the CCP no less, costumes and makeup to attend to and would you believe after 10+++ years of not dancing, I and a few of my dance ministry friends will brave a dance for a friend’s birthday…. whew, are you still breathing while reading all this?  All of that in 7 days!!! I feel like I’m riding a tiny little scooter and am about to have a head on collision with a ten-wheeler truck in the middle of the freeway! Get me an Oakland motorcycle accident lawyer, pronto!

With a gazillion more things I might forget, I know that God’s grace is sufficient for me. To my mind, I need buckets and buckets of it but it is amazing how He can quiet down your soul and order your world if you let Him. I heard someone say this long ago ” I have too much to do today, I think I need to spend more time praying.” And so I shall.

A daughter's eyes

Saturday, April 4th, 2009

When I woke up this morning, I found my little girl all cuddled up beside me.  A few minutes later she was exchanging arguments with her brother about a toy.  I gave instructions to cease hostilities and to stop handling the contentious toy.  My directives fell on deaf ears leading to my administration of discipline.  This is mostly a form of isometric calistenics which serves a secondary purpose of developing their physique. (Makes me wonder when parents stop worrying about this and concern themselves with acne treatments.) After a post-discipline self-pity party, my daughter proceeds to the consumption of her breakfast.  She engages me in a conversation during this meal.  It wasn’t what she said that touched me but it was her eyes.  A gaze at those innocent, trusting disks melts away any irritation, anxiety or anger I may have had previously.  This little lady trusts me!  She knows that whatever I do is for her good.  Why can’t I be like her, most of the time, when it comes to my relationship with God?  He has my best interest in mind but I only see the pain in my life.  I guess it’s time for me to see his heart just as my daughter sees mine.

Mommy moments

Tuesday, February 10th, 2009

I had a wonderful mommy moment with my son tonight. He’s slowly growing up into a fine young man and I’m so happy to say that I’ve witnessed up to this very moment every step of his journey. I’ve been there from day one and will continue to be there until the homerun. I am not a perfect mom, I’ve had my bad hair days and my “alto soprano” moments and many times I question myself whether I “get in the way” of what God wants for my children. I used to think that I was a patient person, tolerant and not easy to anger – I thought too highly of myself and my journey as a mom for more than nine years has truly  convinced me that I am not. :)  But by the grace of God I have learned to move according to the measure of grace that He gives me in each and every circumstance.

Why was tonight special? Well, perhaps it’s because I was able to reach my son’s heart and help him to understand that life’s obstacles are not hindrances but God’s way of forging character and fortitude into our souls. I am reminded of a blacksmith pounding away at a red hot piece of metal on a heavy anvil and how each time the mallet hits the hot metal, it slowly transforms it into the shape that he envisioned the metal to be. I saw this in my son tonight – (btw, he’s only nine years old). God was the blacksmith, my son was the metal and I was the heavy mallet that became the dreaded instrument of torment, er I mean transformation.

At first, it was a struggle of the wills – him succumbing to self-pity and condemnation and I, the imperialistic queen dispensing the law upon him. But I am no queen… I am his mother and I saw that divine opportunity to speak into his life. To lift him up from where he was wallowing and impart destiny into his soul. What joy it was to see him step out of his self-centered world and into an awareness of the world around him where his greater destiny lies.  It was a priceless moment. I don’t want to forget it – hence this post. 

Sometimes the pain of discipline (not necessarily physical) can blur the lines of love and acceptance and distort it into separation and rejection. When that distortion happens, the one who delivers the discipline may be perceived as unloving and uncaring. I believe as a parent, one needs to address those doubts immediately and reassure the child that it is the behavior that is being corrected and not the person being rejected. What do you give a child who misbehaves? Give them a “sandwich”! Yup, a “sandwich”. You give them the “big fat juicy discipline” between two buns of praise and acceptance. A word of encouragement right before the correction and a word of acceptance right after the correction. A sandwich, right? 

Well, my sandwiches aren’t perfect all the time but I try to arrest those “self-pity party” moments when I sense them rising up in my children. I always assure them that my love for them is unconditional and is never based on how “good” they are. That is not to say that they will not be corrected when they misbehave.  But good or bad behavior is not the criterion for my love for them. I hope that when they grow older there will come a time that they will see that side of the picture as well.

I love them dearly and I thank God that they have made my life so much richer in every way imaginable. I will be forever grateful to God and to them for giving me a chance to know and experience the reality that children are indeed precious, priceless gifts from above.

The Invisible Woman – is that you?

Monday, February 9th, 2009

I read this via a homeschooling site and I want to share it to you straight from the source right here: http://www.freshbrewedlife.com/cd_69.aspx . It’s an excerpt from a book by Nicole Johnson entitled “The Invisible Woman“.   I seldom post stuff like this but i think it’s worth the read … really.  Besides, I think it’s in keeping with my little motto up there in my header. Thank you, Nicole for sharing this excerpt to inspire us.

Excerpt By Nicole Johnson

It started to happen gradually…
    One day I was walking my son Jake to school. I was holding his hand and we were about to cross the street when the crossing guard said to him, “Who is that with you, young fella?”
    “Nobody,” he shrugged.
    Nobody? The crossing guard and I laughed. My son is only five, but as we crossed the street I thought, oh my goodness, nobody?
    I would walk into a room and no one would notice. I would say something to my family, like “Turn the TV down, please.” And nothing would happen. Nobody would get up, or even make a move for the remote. I would stand there for a minute, and then I would say again, a little louder, “Would someone turn the TV down?” Nothing.
    Just the other night my husband and I were out to a party. We’d been there for about three hours and I was ready to leave. I noticed he was talking to a friend from work. So I walked over, and when there was a break in the conversation, I whispered, “I’m ready to go when you are.” He just kept right on talking.
    That’s when I started putting all the pieces together. I don’t think he can see me. I don’t think anyone can see me. 
    I’m invisible.
    It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I’m on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I’m thinking, “Can’t you see I’m on the phone?” Obviously not. No one can see if I’m on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.
    I’m invisible.
    Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more.
    Can you fix this?
    Can you tie this?
    Can you open this?
    Some days I’m not a pair of hands; I’m not even a human being.
    I’m a clock to ask, “What time is it?”
    I’m a satellite guide to answer, “What number is the Disney Channel?”
    I’m a car to order, “Right around 5:30, please.” 
    I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude – but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again.
    She’s going…she’s going…she’s gone!
    One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out of style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped
package and said, “I brought you this.” 

    It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn’t exactly sure why she’d given it to me until I read her inscription. “To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.”
    In the days ahead I would read, no, devour, the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I would pattern my work:

•    No one can say who built the great Cathedrals—we have no record of their names.
•    These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
•    They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
•    The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

    A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, “Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.”
    And the workman replied, “Because God sees.”
    I closed the book, feeling the missing piece just push into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, “I see you Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one else does. No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become.”
    At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn, pride.     
    I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who will show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
    When I really think about it, I don’t want my son to tell the friend he’s bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, “My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.” That would mean I’d built a shrine or monument to myself. I just want him to come home. And then if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, “You’re gonna love it here.”
    As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

I think this is one of the most encouraging articles I have read that’s why I am sharing it here as well with all due credit to Ms. Nicole Johnson. No amount of home insurance, financial stability or social recognition can reach deep down and give us that security we need about ourselves.  The affirmation and the self-worth that we all crave and long for can only be found in that quiet place of rest; that place where you are safe and secure in the unconditional love and acceptance of God – unshaken by the pull to be someone other than who you are. I know this place – I’ve been there… it is my place of refuge… my hiding place.

How about you? Are you invisible?

Ballet at the Big Apple

Friday, August 8th, 2008

Ballet is one of my all-time loves. I’m no longer in it as a dancer but it still is very much a part of what I do and who I am and I think I might have imparted this ‘addiction’ to my little girl. Of course like most little girls who love pink and purple, she loves anything and everything ballet. Hopefully, when the time is right we can be able to send her to a ballet school one of these days. Earlier this year, a friend of mine who owns her own ballet school and teaches in several schools as well had a despedida for one of her dancers – Sarah J. Lee. We sent her off to New York to audition for the top ballet schools in the Big Apple. She auditioned for NYCB, ABT and Joffrey Ballet and she passed them all but she settled for Joffrey Ballet School in the end because she was granted a full scholarship with them. We are so proud of her achievements.  

Hopefully, when my little girl reaches Sarah’s age and she is still determined to pursue this path, dh and I would be able to uproot ourselves from wherever we are, transplant our whole family and get those New York movers to help us settle us somewhere in the City that doesn’t sleep for the sake of a little girl’s dream. 

Sarah’s (kneeling, bottom row, right) piece for the NAMCYA competition last year was as Odette from Swan Lake.

 

Mirroring Kindness

Friday, May 16th, 2008

coffee break ver. 1.9 

It’s kinda difficult to write about kindness after disciplining your child which is what happened just a few minutes ago. It isn’t the happiest place to be in, for me as a parent or for my child. That’s why it is important to make sure that there is a restoration and a reaffirming of relations between parent and child immediately after. It is in this safe haven that the child learns to mirror forgiveness and acceptance. This is where kindness is imparted.

I am reminded of a song that I learned several years ago, the lyrics go “It’s your kindness that leads us to repentance O, Lord. Knowing that you love us, no matter what we do, makes us want to love you too.” I have found these words so true in my own life and something I want in my relationship with my children. I have found that harsh, judgmental discipline did so little to change me. It only made my heart hard and distant. External compliance does not translate to internal obedience. It’s only when kind and tender words of genuine love and concern are spoken that one’s heart becomes more open to correction and where walls of defense break down.

I try to remember moments when I have been given mercy when I discipline my kids. Of course I want them to know justice… that there is a consequence for wrongdoing. One cannot know and fully appreciate the kindness of God if one does not have a full understanding of His justice.  I want them to experience mercy… to receive acceptance and forgiveness even if it is not deserved. The kindness of God. 

It is difficult to give something that you do not have.  I have abundantly received this over and over again … this divine act of KINDNESS…  from a  God who exacts justice but instead dispensed mercy to a wretch like me. With His help, I hope that I may be able to mirror Him to them. And if ever there are times that I don’t, I trust in His mercy towards me as well.

still rambling…

Thursday, May 8th, 2008

… just to clear the cobwebs over my head. I don’t like hospitals especially if someone I know is confined in one of them. I have a brother who is a doctor and a sister who is a nurse so most of  the time we ask them first about any medical concerns we have before making that final decision to go to the hospital. Except for giving birth, an outpatient lasik treatment and a serious bout of amoebiasis ( from drinking sago and gulaman in a village stall where we live) I hope that the only time I will find myself in a hospital again is to visit someone who just gave birth to a healthy baby. Better yet, by tomorrow afternoon our friend will be out of the OR and be on the road to recovery and will be ready for a visit from us in the next few days… That would be a wonderful reason to go to the hospital, don’t you think?

a bit distracted…

Thursday, May 8th, 2008

… today because I just got news that one of our friends from church has to undergo an emergency bypass operation tomorrow. We just met up with him last Tuesday and he was quite fine at that time and all of a sudden the news hit us this afternoon. He’s actually a doctor himself at the Asian Hospital and they had to transfer him to St. Luke’s for the operation. ( I distinctly remember the Asian Hospital ER a couple of years ago… the rows of chairs, the tv wall mount, the residents on duty and that confusing triage process that made us wait for more than 20 minutes before they attended to my little girl… I’m rambling already…). If you happen to read this please include our friend in your prayers and that there would be enough blood donors for his bypass operation tomorrow. Thank you so much!

I like Noah…

Monday, April 21st, 2008

… Webster a lot. In fact, if I had the luxury of time, I would go over each and every word in the 1828 Webster dictionary if I could. For now, I just have to settle for at least one word a day to sink my teeth into because I want the word to linger in my head longer. I tried to do a Webster Wednesday but I think it’s not doable for me so I’ll just do it randomly depending on the mood I’m in and see where it goes. So here’s my 1828 Noah Webster word find for now:

CHARACTER, n.

 

1. A mark made by cutting or engraving, as on stone, metal or other hard material; hence, a mark or figure made with a pen or style, on paper, or other material used to contain writing; a letter, or figure used to form words, and communicate ideas. Characters are literal, as the letters of an alphabet; numeral, as the arithmetical figures; emblematical or symbolical, which express things or ideas; and abbreviations, as C. For centrum, a hundred; lb. For libra, a pound; A.D. Anno domini; &c.

 

2. A mark or figure made by stamping or impression, as on coins.

 

3. The manner of writing; the peculiar from of letters used by a particular person.

 

4. The peculiar qualities, impressed by nature or habit on a person, which distinguish him from others; these constitute real character, and the qualities which he is supposed to possess, constitute his estimated character, or reputation. Hence we say, a character is not formed, when the person has not acquired stable and distinctive qualities.

 

5. An account, description or representation of any thing, exhibiting its qualities and the circumstances attending it; as, to give a bad character o a town, or to a road.

 

6. A person; as, the assembly consisted of various characters, eminent characters, and low characters.

 

7. By way of eminence, distinguished or good qualities; those which are esteemed and respected; and those which are ascribed to a person in common estimation. We enquire whether a stranger is a man of character.

 

8. Adventitious qualities impressed by office, or station; the qualities that, in public estimation, belong to a person in a particular station; as when we ask how a magistrate, or commander supports his character.

 

9. In natural history, the peculiar discriminating qualities or properties of animals, plants and minerals.

 

These properties, when employed for the purpose of discriminating minerals, are called characters.