The old second hand 8-cylinder “bat-mobile” is gone. The red-plated Minica is no longer. The Mitsubishi lancer was sacrificially sold to pay for attorney’s fees to settle a sibling’s case. I remember these cars my father drove while I was growing up. I can still recall how big the “bat-mobile” was and how I would sink into the backseat and become nauseous. I could barely look out the window because it was too high. Or was I too small? One day it was no longer in our garage. Some time later, my father brought home a smaller car - a red-plated Minica. I remember my dad taking a picture of me in front of the car right before he drove me to PICC for my college graduation. Later on, he gave it back to the office when he retired and our garage was empty again. Finally, my father brought home a Mitsubishi Lancer. A car he bought with his retirement money. He lovingly took care of it. This car was his prized reward from all the years he had been working as a government employee. He would drive more than 40 kilometers just to fetch me and my dirty laundry from my dorm and then bring me back the following day. It didn’t matter even if it was already late in the night. I clearly remember those moments with him in the car. Everything was safe when I was with him. Unfortunately, there came a time that he had to sell it for a greater need. Without a thought he gave it up sacrificially to shoulder the legal fees of someone so dear to him. Our garage was empty once again. My father has since passed. I miss him terribly and though I’ve accepted the fact that he is in a better place, the pain is as real today as the day he left me.  Life is not the same.

Today, I have a family of my own - a husband, two kids. We have our own car, but it was just the other day that I realized something missing from it. I received an email that reminded me what it was. I quickly rummaged through our house to find it and when I finally did, tears welled up in my eyes. My childhood came flooding back to me and the little memento I found was the only witness to all those years of riding with my father. This little memento had been hanging in every car that we had. They are my old and tattered little red shoes that I wore when I was a baby. My father kept and preserved them and hung them on the rearview mirror in each and every car we ever had. Maybe my father wanted to remember me whenever he saw my shoes hanging on the mirror. Maybe he wanted me to be close by… to be within reach… to be his little baby even if he knew I was pursuing my own career. When we sold the Mitsubishi Lancer, I forgot all about those shoes. I got married, moved house and had kids. There was no place to hang them… until today. Thanks to that email, I can now hang my little red shoes once again. This time it’s to remind me of my father and how much he is still a part of my life. Hopefully, I can do the same for my own children - that they too will have many, many fond memories of riding with mom and dad in the car. Thank you, daddy. I love you and miss you.

(here are my little red shoes hanging in our car today)

Thank you Nuffnang for emailing me about this contest.

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Later on that night we waited for GMA’s newest sing-along show to come on. It was the launching of their newest show BANDAOKE! featuring my kids’ all-time favorite drummer (mine too :P), fresh from his Berklee stint, MICHAEL GEMINA!!!!

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It’s been a long day and it still hasn’t ended. I started out the day picking up where I left off from yesterday’s laundry. Then in between loading the wash, hanging the clothes and taking down the ones that were dry (wash and fold, dearie -  yup, no need for a steam cleaner for pajamas and house clothes, I can live with the wrinkles), cooking lunch and attempting to homeschool, I check my email and other online stuff. I feel like the energizer bunny on overdrive! What’s more… it’s past midnight and I’m still not done! I have online stuff to finish and a webinar till 4 am. I need a block of CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!! aaaargh!

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I was watching the Oprah show earlier today. She had as guests, Dr. Oz and David Zinczenko, editor-in-chief of Men’s Health magazine and author of  ”Eat This, Not That!” series. Their topic was about obesity in kids and the discussion revolved around the how’s and why’s kids end being so overweight. David shared a lot of information about the food choices that are out there in the supermarkets and how to choose wisely.

As parents, we all want to raise normal, healthy kids and sometimes our food decisions aren’t always the best ones simply because we lack information. We have evolved into a “fast-food” generation where everything is quick and easy but not necessarily healthy. Hence, the rise of liposuction, diet pills and all sorts of weight-loss products. Although, these books are geared more towards the American consumer, still, there is much to be gleaned from them because a lot of these products are now available locally in major supermarkets. If you want to know if ‘regular bacon’ is healthier than ‘turkey bacon’, you gotta read the book. You’ll be surprised. So before you reach out for that bag of chips and that box of “multi-grain’ something, read the back label or better yet get yourself a copy of these books.

Check out these books. They are available at Amazon.com and you can read more reviews by those who have bought them. You might even qualify for their Free Super Saver Shipping. (Click on the links to get there)

Eat This, Not That! Thousands of Simple Food Swaps that Can Save You 10, 20, 30 Pounds–or More!

Eat This Not That! for Kids!: Be the Leanest, Fittest Family on the Block!

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TDS Issue 14 is filled with school and back to school stuff. What’s more I just have to have this issue’s freebie download - a HUGE Noah’s Ark Kit from the Faith Sisters exclusive for TDS Readers.

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On the heels of the revival of patriotism and love for country spurred by the passing of President Cory, the country faces another battle over the will of one and the will of the many. It is sad to note that the ongoing controversy between Malacañang and the members of the Arts community over the latest ‘National Artists’ recipients is tainted with politics and payback. I am not one of the experts who can claim to have the expertise in choosing who should or should not be proclaimed National Artist but as a parent raising children who might someday (who knows?) be qualified for that honor I would rather that it be bestowed upon them by those who are in the best position to give it to them. I would consider it an insult if it were granted to them on a silver platter without them truly deserving it.

For what does it profit a man if he gains the world and loses his soul instead?

As I watched the final funeral rites being given to President Cory yesterday I could not help but wonder at the outpouring of love and honor by people from all walks of life. Thousands upon thousands waited, stood in the rain to pay their last respects to her. It was spontaneous in the sense that this was not a “hakot” crowd. They were not programmed like “custom software” to behave a certain way, say the right words at the right time, to lift their hands and flash the L sign. They were not ordered to bring yellow posters, banners, balloons. Anonymous donors gave out bottled water and boiled eggs to those who wanted to get a last glimpse of her not because they wanted recognition but out of the generosity of their hearts and out of respect for the leader they loved.

Respect cannot be coerced. True honor when given is not mere lip service that can be cloaked by plaques, trophies or medals. It springs from the heart and is freely given much like the woman who broke the alabaster jar and poured it over the Master whom she so loved. The trophies, the medals, the public honor are just tangible representations of the inner reverence and recognition we accord to those who truly deserve it. Even a simple person can sense true honor versus mere flattery. Honor if forced, leaves a bitter taste in the mouth and is tainted with resentment.

I think one of the great legacies that President Cory has left us is her humility. It is to her credit that she leads and inspires so many without the fanfare and the propaganda. She lived not for the applause of men but for the applause of heaven… for an audience of One.

I heard someone say during one of the many speeches said at her wake that “there are many leaders who lead, but great leaders inspire“. In light of this current challenge re the ‘National Artist’ imbroglio, I watch on the sidelines to see if there are any great leaders among them. If there are any who live not just for the temporary honor that may be remembered by men but more so by heaven. I hope some if not all will rise to the call for greatness. Meanwhile, it is time to bow the head and bend the knees.

Let your voice be heard. I missed going to the streets during EDSA 1. I missed going to the streets yesterday again. The many gifts of EDSA and the restoration of democracy was the freedom to speak freely without fear of being arrested.  I will use this gift to speak here on my blog for the sake of my children and the generations after us. How about you? Share your thoughts and let your voice be heard.

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The past few days my emotions have been on a roller coaster ride. I have been quiet on this blog. The death of President Cory stirred up so many emotions I have tried to manage for the past two years. August 4 marks the second death anniversary of my father and I couldn’t help but go back to those moments while I was watching the necrological service of Tita Cory at the Manila Cathedral late this afternoon. The circumstances have been so similar it just brought me to tears. I am reminded of these two verses that somehow give me a glimpse of what still needs to be worked on in my own heart.

Genesis 32:28 (NIV 1984)

When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.” But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” The man asked him, “What is your name?” “Jacob,” he answered. Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome.”

2Corinthians 12:7 (NASB 1995)

Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me– to keep me from exalting myself!

A broken spirit and a contrite heart, I know God will not despise and that is what He so desires. It is the best heart jewelry one can wear and worth more than all the jewels in the whole wide world. It is what pleases God. The question is, is pain necessary to achieve closeness to God? Is the path of sorrow and suffering the only way to be near God?  In my opinion, my answer would be yes. It is necessary.

We do not need Faith if we have the ability to do things on our own. It is the impossible that requires the divine to be employed. Faith is what moves the mountains of pain and suffering aside and parts the sea of sorrow so that we can take one more step closer to the promised land. Faith enables us to struggle and wrestle inspite of the thorns of imperfection and the flaws of our character. It is the adrenalin that pushes us forward to overcome all odds and step into victory. Without faith it is impossible to please God.

Unfortunately, this does not happen overnight. This is where patience comes in. Through plodding and perseverance. Mountain after mountain, valley after valley, struggle after struggle… day after day. Through faith and patience we will overcome. It has already been two years since I have started on this road of coping with the grief and pain because of my father’s death. I am reminded more so today because of President Cory’s death.

My father was working for the Marcos government during that time when the People Power Revolution happened. He was the Chief Engineer in charge of setting up the government transmitters all over the Philippines. How he got into government is a whole other story but I knew he was a man of integrity and uncorrupted by what was around him. He knew what was going on when the transmitters in Malolos were taken over by the military sympathetic to Cory. He told me how crucial communications and media were that’s why these were one of the first things that were taken over aside from power and transportation. He often told me inside stories about media and propaganda and the psy-war tactics that were being employed by both sides. Aside from being an employee of the government, he was also a son of Tacloban and a kababayan of Imelda Marcos. A lot of what I know about government and country I have learned through him. His love for country and integrity in fulfilling his duties have been imparted to me and have made me come to love this country as well.  This is his legacy to me. Every province where I see a government transmitter, I am reminded of him. It is a struggle to hold back my tears…to wish for him to still be here. It is a journey that anyone who has lost a loved one deals with everyday. And I guess a “thorn in the flesh” to ground us and remind us of our need for God each day.

Yet inspite the pain, the thought of knowing that the memories and the legacies of our loved ones will live on through us they have left behind, is an assurance that their lives are not in vain. Thank you Tita Cory for reminding me about my father once again. My father is not a well-known figure. He lived a simple quiet life. A life of faith. A life of patience. A life of forgiveness and generosity. A life that overcame self and became selfless for others. A life that mattered to me. A life I will remember always and will be grateful for forever.

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Remember this?

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels
Door bells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into Springs
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don’t feel so bad.

(from the Musical - The Sound of Music)

I have a few of my favorite things that make me feel happy on the inside and no, it doesn’t include the latest tech gadgets today. I was thinking more of the “rustic, make you feel warm and cozy” type of stuff much like patintero, kite flying and playing on swing sets make you feel.

So what are some of my favorite “comfort” things:

1. Chocnut - who needs See’s or Godiva when you’ve got chocnut! The fat one of course.
2. Lugaw Tokwa - I miss the authentic probinsya lugaw-tokwa with lots of browned garlic on top.
3. Rain - not the typhoon kind or the ones that cause flash floods but I remember growing up listening to the raindrops pitter-pattering on our roof. Music to my ears.
4. Fresh bedsheets - especially when they’re cool because of the rain in #3. :)
5. Fishballs in UP - I’m not a UP grad but I remember going to UP with my roomate and just pigging out on fishballs and sago. I loooove it when my little fishball swells up with vinegar and the sweet and sour sauce. yum!
6. Chinese garter, tumbang preso, patintero, sipa and piko - nope. no Counterstrike for me.
7. Ice drop with munggo, keso, beans or buko - they used to make it with those metal molds.
8. Chikam - a word coined by my little girl. It’s actually, pork adobo fat cut up into little pieces and fried till crunchy before adding rice from the night before - something I learned from my dad. Singangag to the max.
9. DZFE FM - there’s something soothing about classical music. I love listening to the classics especially on a rainy day.
10. My dad’s keys with his dogtags - I miss hearing the sound of the clicking of those keys with his dogtags. Once I hear those keys, I immediately know my dad’s finally home. I miss you, daddy!

So these are some of my favorite things. How about you? Care to share what your favorite things are? Just leave a comment if you do.

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I had no intentions of being heroic but I literally did “stand in the gap” or was it “stand in the way” yesterday and it hurt like hell. We went to a children’s birthday party at Hotel Kimberly in Amadeo yesterday right after church and of course being a children’s birthday party, there were games… not just for the kids but for the mommies and daddies as well. The host called my name to join one of the games and I obliged. I’m normally a reluctant participant but I wanted to be a little “game” this time and so I did. It was a mini race where you had to circle a chair twice, write the word SOS with your butt and then pass on the hat to the next person. I did my part as fast as I could and as the last person turned the corner to run to the finish line I saw her body headed for a fall. Being a dancer, I instinctively recognized that her body was going to crash into the tiled floor and she was going to get hurt pretty bad. So I poised myself to catch her. Unfortunately, the force of her fall was so strong we both crashed on the floor with me hitting my tailbone so hard I was stunned and couldn’t get up. I remember something hitting my cheekbone as well so hard I was in a daze for a few seconds. The first thing that crossed my mind when I was down on the floor was “Oh no! I might not be able to dance tomorrow!” The people around us tried to carry us up. I was disoriented but walked to my seat as if nothing had happened but I felt everything as I sat down. The hubby tried to do TKM (The King’s Method) on me and it did relieve me but it made me want to close my eyes and just sleep. I was scared to fall asleep because I feared that I wouldn’t wake up. My kids were so surprised and couldn’t believe I did what I did. They had mixed feelings of anger and concern… anger at the person who crashed into me and concern for my well-being as well. That made me think hard. I needed to teach them something. They needed to know why I did what I did.

I had one of those “my life flashed before my eyes moments” and “what is the purpose of my life conversations with myself” running through my brain as I was trying to find a little relief from the waves of pain and disorientation. The hubby who’s been studying on kinesthetics and all that dance physiology blah-blah-blah assured me that my tailbone was the location of hundreds of nerves that’s why I was feeling that way and it had just gone thru trauma so it was normal for me to feel that way. I was having a spiritual moment on the other hand. LOL

These are some of the things I learned, realized and remembered all at once:

New International Version (©1984)
I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,

another version says this:

Bible in Basic English
That I may have knowledge of him, and of the power of his coming back from the dead, and a part with him in his pains, becoming like him in his death;

Sometimes, it’s the painful times, the seasons of hardships and the difficult moments that yield more insight into another person’s life. These times create deeper bonds, deeper friendships that transcend time. They give us a peek into the other person’s heart and soul. We all have friends but those who share their most intimate thoughts and share their deepest pains with us are those who regard us as true friends. We end up “knowing” them beyond words. This incident has made me “know” God more and has made me appreciate and love Him more. It allowed me to peek into His heart and understand why He did what He did for all of us.  I know now that I am His friend.

Have a wonderful week, everyone!

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Both of our kids are sick today - coughs and colds. So this necessitated a trip to our family pedia. After ds had her check up and prescriptions we enjoyed a wonderful dinner of authentic Bikol “pinangat”, crispy pork, corned beef omelette, atsarang ubod topping it all off with homemade avocado ice cream served by our gracious host Dr. Ninong as we fondly call Dr. Almelor.

Our discussion turned to anything and everything under the sun - from the endless stream of patients that kept pouring in to food and even the Katrina-Hayden-Vicki issue.  It got me to thinking later on about women’s rights and who had the real right to sue. I have not seen the video and don’t have any intentions of watching it. I have been asked twice already why I haven’t and my answer to both was a simple “no”. I have a daughter myself and I wouldn’t want her to undergo what Vicki and Katrina are going through.

Who is the real victim and who is the perpetrator? Either way, both have lost a lot already. Who’s rights have been trampled on? Most, if not all of us, know who got trampled the most. Who will win in the courts? A whole team of Mesothelioma lawyers is not enough to sway the court of public opinion. Who stands to benefit after all has been said and done?

If laws are given more teeth to protect women’s rights from being violated in whatever form, most especially in this digital age, then my daughter has a safer future ahead of her. If women will be wiser and more discerning in choosing who they will trust because of this incident then bravo to us. Hopefully, this case will not just be one of those fleeting sensational issues that are forgotten after it doesn’t make the headlines and sell the newspapers and magazines anymore… Hopefully, we won’t just watch from the sidelines and allow any woman to be treated less than how our Heavenly Father has created us… for our sakes and for the sake of all our daughters.

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My kids were arguing with each other about some ridiculous nitpicky thing at breakfast today and it was getting out of hand. I sort of blew my fuse and put my foot down. I told them they had to write down 100 things to be grateful for and 100 things they were not happy about.  Halfway into it, my son told me that one whole sheet of paper was not enough to fit all that. He had written the things he was grateful for on one side and on the other, the ones he was not.

I thought it was a perfect teachable moment for him to choose how to view life. We all have our daily struggles in life, the weight of which depends relatively on how we see them. This is not to say that our struggles are negligible and the pain is not valid. I would surmise to think that it depends on how you see the big picture.

At this point, I told my son that this was what I wanted him to know. I told him that he could view life either half-empty and look at all the bad things, or he could also look at life half-full, where life is full of possibilities and hope. Even before I could finish my point he said it was just like being Squidward. I said yes. By this time he had already written down so many things to be grateful for and the argument at breakfast was a thing of the past. He had gone off to play with his sister again. Intermittently, they come back hugging me, giving me little “I love you, mom” notes and scribbles seemingly content with their little lives.

How about you, which Bikini Bottom character are you? Sponge Bob, Squidward or Patrick?

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I don’t know if I’m alone in this thing but reminding my eldest son to brush his teeth is a daily tug-of-war. Although he does do it when I remind him to, he doesn’t do it well and now his teeth have a yellowish tint to it already. I inspect his teeth all the time to see if there are any food particles left near the gum and in his molars. His baby teeth have fallen out already more than a few months ago and he is sporting his “hammy look” with his two front teeth sticking out like Bugs Bunny. A regular checkup at the dentist’s office is certainly a must and I’m glad we don’t have to go all the way to a Plano Dentist in Texas just to do that. We found one in our church and the kids really like her and are not scared of her and that definitely is a good thing.

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Our lifestyle is ever evolving. As a family, we are transitioning into a more fast-paced routine because dh and I have taken on new things while we increase the extra-curricular activities of our kids. Ever since they started ballet class (yes, both my kids-boy and girl) and dh started teaching in De Lasalle and College of St. Benilde this term our schedules have become so volatile. We’ve had to work around time constraints and travel time considerations just to fit all these. It’s a good thing that we are a homeschooling family so we can take our “school on the go” anytime, anywhere. I’m not quite there yet but I think we will be needing a laptop or probably a netbook especially for the kids so that it’s a bit more convenient for all of us (especially mom and dad who have to lug around those books once the little hands get tired). In fact I checked out this Sony Vaio laptop at Buy.com to see if the specs will fit our needs. Hopefully, when the budget permits we will be able to have all the resources we need to support this lifestyle.

Sony VAIO NS290J/W Notebook

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Just popping in to say that we are about to have one hectic week ahead. Kids recovering from sudden cough and colds due to the erratic weather, a death in the family, visiting grandparents from Davao, visiting family relatives from Cebu, a just concluded summer dance workshop in Sta. Rosa, an unfinished article, layouts to finish, a costume to paint, a surprise party for a dear, dear person, technical dress rehearsals and a photoshoot, of course the first two-day Noah’s Ark ballet recital of my kids at the CCP no less, costumes and makeup to attend to and would you believe after 10+++ years of not dancing, I and a few of my dance ministry friends will brave a dance for a friend’s birthday…. whew, are you still breathing while reading all this?  All of that in 7 days!!! I feel like I’m riding a tiny little scooter and am about to have a head on collision with a ten-wheeler truck in the middle of the freeway! Get me an Oakland motorcycle accident lawyer, pronto!

With a gazillion more things I might forget, I know that God’s grace is sufficient for me. To my mind, I need buckets and buckets of it but it is amazing how He can quiet down your soul and order your world if you let Him. I heard someone say this long ago ” I have too much to do today, I think I need to spend more time praying.” And so I shall.

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Here’s something that you might want to check out. Filipino Drummer and College of St. Benilde Scholar, Michael Gemina, is on his way to Berklee this summer. He recently got his U.S. Visa approved and is inviting everyone out there to be a fan on his website - michaelgemina.com. He is a part of the band Private Publiko and they will be launching their album pretty soon so watch out for that as well. Here’s a little something I did in support of Michael because I believe that this kid is going places. If you want to be a part of this project click on the image below to take you to Michael’s webpage. Support the Filipino Artist!

I didn’t notice the hour, but I think it’s way past my bedtime, folks. Sleep is still the best all natural acne treatment for me. I’ll catch you all later coz I don’t want my face to be zit filled in the next few days. LOL

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